Dear Grandpa

Job 38 - 42

Today I read the above chapters in Job, but I am not really going to speak on that.  I want to take this opportunity to put some of the thoughts and feelings that are going through my head in regards to the happenings of the previous week.

On Monday January 31st, I got a phone call from my mom telling me my grandpa had passed away.  My heart sunk.  Mom explained to me what had happened in the final moments of his life.  I cried while I listened to her and wanted to immediately get in my car and drive to be with her, but couldn't because of the weather.  There was a snow storm going on and it would not have been safe.  I had recently wrote my grandpa a note and I was happy to find out the following day that he had read it!  It made me so happy that I was able to tell him a small portion of how I felt about him and all he had done for me before he had passed on.  I will now take a few moments to write a longer letter for him.

Dear Grandpa~
I love you so much!  I will miss you terribly!  As much as you will be missed by myself and others here on Earth, I know you are residing in your mansion on the streets of gold with the rest of our family who has gone before!  Throughout my childhood you were a man to look up to!  Holidays with the family provided us with guaranteed time together in the basement preparing the meat.  We would always sneak pieces here and there! Talking about such little meaningless things, but all those talks mean so much to me now!  Remembering now the first time you made me put a worm on my own hook in order to fish with you.  I was so disgusted, but so proud when I did it! You regularly got frustrated with how loud I was while we fished, but would always allow me to go. You had a never failing faith in God, a faith I have always tried to attain. It is because of this faith, I am confident of where you are now and all the fun you are having without pain or exhaustion or worry. The Christmas you forgot which popcorn tin you didn't put the $25 in so all 6 grandkids had to search through the popcorn looking for their $25.  To this day, I think this was done on purpose. You got such a kick out of watching us search and search.  The piles of paper in the living room by the chairs.  The popcorn with extra butter!  Poker with match sticks as our poker chips.  Teaching us the rule of "sweating the cards". Telling us stories of your time in the South Pacific.  As a woman, I have taken your expectations and rules of respect into consideration when dating.  If a man will not remove his hat at the dinner table, I am disappointed.  This is one thing you always spoke of in regards to respect for others.  The day I was trying to figure out where I got the blessing of a larger chest from and before Grandma could even answer if she had always had a larger chest before children, you said "Oh yes she did!"  With that the mystery was solved!  The whoopi cushion, the magnetic devices, the "quarter pounder", the big station wagons, the lessons at the acreage, the Freedant gum, the never ending love for Grandma, and your wonderful humor!  Grandpa, you embody so many of the things I want in a man... I can only hope that when I find the man for me, he loves me as wonderfully as you have loved Grandma your "beloved".  You lived such a long and full life and because of this I was able to know you as a child, teen, young lady, and a woman!  I have truly been blessed and now God is blessed to have you with Him!  Although I mourn the ending of your life here on Earth, I am comforted knowing you are part of the party in the sky!  You will always be with us and your legacy will be one to share with those who were not as lucky as those of us who were in your life!  I love you so much Grandpa and am forever indebted to you for all you taught me and gave me!

Love you,
Stephanie

Wooing

 Job 34 - 37

Job 36:16 “He is wooing you from the jaws of distress to a spacious place free from restriction, to the comfort of your table laden with choice food.”

“He is wooing you…” Ladies, how many times have we thought possibly even said we want to be wooed?  I know I say it regularly.  The idea of having a man do things to entice us to want to be with him, around him, fall for him, etc.  A man who wants to take us to dinner.  A man who wants to go for romantic walks.  A man who wants to listen to us when we talk about our day.  A man who will be our rock and just hold us telling us everything will be okay.  I have good news ladies… HE is wooing you!  HE has a table for us to sit at and eat plenty.  HE will walk with us, better yet, HE will carry us on the walk if we are weak that day.  HE romances us in a way no mortal man could.  HE listens to every word that we speak or think.  HE wants so badly to be our rock.  To hold us and tell us everything will be okay because HE knows it will.  I am guilty of loosing site of this.  Forgetting that I should be more worried about Him wooing me than a mortal man wooing me.  Remembering that the two should woo similarly.  That the mortal man should woo me with the same ideals as He does.  The wooing should be parallel, not perpendicular. It is so easy to let society dictate what the wooing should look like and man o man what true lady would want what the majority of society trained men are offering.  Ladies, if you are a God fearing woman, own up to your part of the wooing.  Be a lady of the Lord and wait for the parallel wooing!  I am challenging myself to do just that, please join me!

God at Age 8

Day 23 – Job 29 - Job 32

Job 32:7-9 “I thought, ‘Age should speak; advanced years should teach wisdom.’ But it is the spirit in a person, the breath of the Almighty, that gives them understanding.  It is not only the old who are wise, not only the aged who understand what is right.”

This is an interesting concept.  As we grow up we are told to do believe people because they are older than us and wiser than us.  This verse challenges that school of thought.  I believe this verse is right on when it comes to wisdom of the spirit.  It is not always the elders of a community who feel the spirit within them and have knowledge to share in regards to their experiences or what God has shown them.  In my journey with God many people younger than me (some a few years yet others many years) have shown me God’s heart in many ways which someone older than me would probably never be able to show me.  For example:  my nephew.  For anyone who knows Tristan knows he has just about the biggest heart one could ever have.  He has a lot of changes going on in his life right now and he may not speak to it, but he can feel it.  It is in the small quiet moments that someone would be able to see God through this 8 year old boy.  In the last year while his life has had major changes to it, I have seen him grow into a young man (yes at age 8) and although he may not realize it he has shown God’s love every time I have seen him.  No it has nothing to do with my bias opinion of my nephew either… lol. :) I remember once Tristan could tell I was tense, upset, confused, unsure of what to think and he asked me “Stephanie why aren’t you smiling?”  I told him “Well Tristan, that would take a lot right now.  Got a lot going on, buddy, ya know?” Tristan’s reply was this “Well Stephanie, it is easy to smile.  Just remember I love you more than anyone. Well, except for Jesus.” As he said this he gave me a hug.  I smiled and said “Tristan if I always remember that I will always have a reason to smile! Thank you lil g!”  Then we played crazy 8s.  This little boy, so innocently and without knowing it spoke years of wisdom to me on that afternoon.  Yes many people older than me tell me Jesus loves me, but when you hear it from an 8 year old… wow!  I have seen God so much in Tristan over the last year and I praise God because it means I know He is with Tristan during all the changes going on in his life!  Praise God!  Ever since that afternoon, I have listened to Tristan more intently and other children I talk to as well.  One never knows when God’s words will come to you in the smallest and most precious ways.  I challenge you to pay attention to those younger than you, you never know when God may have something to say to you through them!

Fear or Respect

Day 22 – Job 28

Job 28:28 “And he said to the human race, “The fear of the Lord—that is wisdom, and to shun evil is understanding.”

Why is it that so many are afraid to ”fear” the Lord?  Not afraid because of God, but because of others.  Why is it norm to deny God rather than openly love and fear Him?  If it is wise to fear Him, why don’t more people?  In today’s society most of us have grown to believe that we should fear nothing.  When did fear become so horrible?  Especially fear of God.  A power so strong He could wipe us all out.  Shoot, that is someone to fear!  However, I am starting to wonder if the fear should be more of a respect.  For example, when we are children we do or don’t do things because of fear of punishment from our parents.  As we grew it became more knowing and understanding right from wrong.  As we reached “adulthood” our decisions, becoming more intense, we’re not only driven by right versus wrong, but I truly believe also out of respect for our parents.  I no longer fear my parents, but still keep them in mind out of respect.  Some decisions I make are a reflection of who I am, and therefore a reflection of them.  As it is this way with parents, I believe it is the same with God.  I don’t believe I will ever NOT fear God, but I believe Christians do a lot of our decision making based off of a respect for such an awesome power.

When the Sun Goes Down

Day 21 – Job 24-27

Job 24:13-17 “There are those who rebel against the light, who do not know its ways or stay in its paths. When daylight is gone, the murderer rises up, kills the poor and needy, and in the night steals forth like a thief. The eye of the adulterer watches for dusk; he thinks, ‘No eye will see me,’ and he keeps his face concealed. In the dark, thieves break into houses, but by day they shut themselves in; they want nothing to do with the light.  For all of them, midnight is their morning; they make friends with the terrors of darkness.”

These verses make me think of the saying “nothing good happens after midnight”.  I don’t know who the first person was to say that to me and I have some of my own versions.  “Nothing good happens after the bars close”, etc.  But if we think about these verses and then look at how our society is now, they are still very relevant and not just to the extremes.  I am guilty of doing things after dark that I would be less likely to do during the daylight.  Not necessarily bad things, but for example getting drunk and allowing a man who is unknown to me dance inappropriately with me.  That situation is not uncommon for a lot of single 20 something females.  Now there may be some people thinking “I do that during the day light” and I am sure it happens, but is the bar/club lit?  My guess is, it is not.  The mood inside the bar/club is that of night.  Lights off, only dimly lit.  This is because people are more free with the lights off.  I have never seen a dance floor with every single light on full.  Shoot, even at wedding receptions the lights are dimmed for the dance.  I am fully aware that not all sin happens after dark and that not all Christians behave differently after dark.  I, myself, have already made that change in my life.  Not only do I just not go out as much, I do my best to act as a lady no matter what time of day it is.

Do you behave differently when the sun goes down?

Justify This

Day 20 – Job 20-23 (9/7/10)

Job 21:22 “Can anyone teach knowledge to God, since he judges even the highest?”

I believe this to be one of the first ever rhetorical questions.  Anyone who believes now or believed then knows the answer, so no answer is really needed.  The question is just thrown out there.  At any rate, how many times do we humans try to tell God about how it is or what should be?  While we believe ourselves to be all knowing only one is.  He is.  We are taught that and shown that but we still try to tell Him and teach Him about things.  I believe any time I have tried to tell God about the way things are, it was about justifying something I had either done, said, or thought which was not in good standing with Him.  Man, we can justify anything can’t we.  Anything from making fun of someone to the extreme of murder.  We hear murderers justifying their actions all the way to their prison cell and beyond.  Why do we do that?  I would say on average, I am justifying my actions regularly.  Not with God necessarily, but with friends, sometimes family.  Not bad actions, just day to day actions.  Why do we do this?  Why do we demand justification from others?  Why is it our business?  I challenge myself to not believe I am needing of justification from others and let God do His job.

You? A Bible Reader?

Day 19 – Job 15-19

In these four chapters I didn’t find anything that “spoke” to me.  It is possible that nothing did because I am a little distracted, so I am going to write about what is distracting me.  I was telling a friend of mine the other day about the day I was having and I mentioned reading the Bible.  She looks at me and says “I didn’t know you were a Bible reader”.  I said “Well I don’t put it on my resume, but yeah.”  She chuckled and quickly changed the subject.  For some reason I have been thinking about these two statements a lot.  If she is my friend shouldn’t she know how I spend my time? And I guess that isn’t even the point.  I don’t tell people in passing conversation that I read the Bible and we had first met at work so it had never come up before, but the assumption that I don’t read the Bible is what I believe has got me bewildered.  So I have been thinking about what it is that I do or say which has people assuming I am not Bible reading material.  Yes, I curse, but I have heard pastors curse.  So being a developer and cursing equals not Bible reading material?  I am a kind person who works hard and won’t let anyone walk on me at work, so because I don’t allow people to take advantage of me means I can’t possibly read the Bible?  Being stubborn as an ox, does that make me someone who wouldn’t read the Bible?  I am very perplexed by this.  For the last 8 years I have stopped wearing my beliefs on my sleeve and believe it is a good thing.  But now I am perceived by people who are my friends to not be someone who reads the Bible.  Okay for the last eight years I have mostly lived a life of a non Bible reader, but these folks met me in the last couple years.  Met me in a time of change for my life.  Is it because I go to clubs and drink and dance?  Because I know that a lot of the folks they run into at bars on Saturday either went to church before or will go Sunday morning.  Why is it that so many people perceive Bible reading Christians to be boring, non social individuals?  And why is it that those who don’t read the Bible and are my friends assume I don’t?  Is it something I need to do differently or is it them?