Mourning Now v Mourning Then

Day 12 - Genesis 47-50:14


Genesis 50:3 “…And the Egyptians mourned for him seventy days.”

When Jacob died the family and Egyptians mourned for 70 days.  Now I am not certain if that was standard back then or not, but it seemed expected and okay.  Today if someone were to openly mourn for 70 days it would be “weird”.  The mourner would be advised to “see” someone about it.  Our places of work would surely frown at it.  Where I work, we don’t even get bereavement days.  Our PTO is suppose to cover deaths.  Personally, I feel that is bull honky, but that is the accepted standard.  Why are we expected to get over a major loss in a day or two?  I don’t think a day or two is reasonable, however, I do feel there comes a point in time where looking at what has happened in the past should stop and forward movement should continue.  When my grandpa died a few years ago, I thought I would never stop hurting, that my tear ducts would never dry, that I would never be happy doing the things I used to do with him.  Well, that lasted for about a week or two then grandpa appeared in a dream, he was as I remember him as a child.  Active, healthy, black rimmed glasses, work pants, and white shirt.  He was happy, smiling, without diabetes and pain.  He looked at me and said, “remember your smile is sunshine!”  Something he use to say to me when I was a little girl before I would throw a tantrum or cry.  I knew then that grandpa didn’t want me to cry for him anymore and I began to look forward.  Now jump ahead about eleven months and grandpa came back to us.  Let me explain.  Grandpa donated his body to the University of Iowa, so the day after he died he was taken to Iowa City to the university.  Side note:  we saw grandpa the day he died and because the funeral home wasn’t expecting us, he didn’t have make up on or wasn’t “done up”.  He was the least scary most real looking dead man I have ever seen.  If he had his glasses on, he would have looked like he was napping.  They put WAY too much make up on dead people.  So when the university was done with grandpa, he was cremated and sent back to grandma.  Just after I had truly begun to look forward and be at peace with grandpa not being on Earth anymore, it was like he died all over again.  Although I will never forget that day, two things stand out in my mind that helped me get through it all.  Grandma announced before we left the house to put the ashes in the ground “All I have to say is, he is not in there (pointing to the urn).  He has been wherever he is going to be since last December.”  The other moment was when my family was leaving the cemetery and I remember looking back at my sister.  It was like we knew what each other were thinking and we both mouthed “I love you”.  We love and miss you grandpa!