The Plagues

Exodus 7 - 12

In these chapters we read about the ten plagues the Lord brings upon Egypt because of Pharaoh's hardened heart. The Lord continually showed Pharaoh who he was up against through His messenger Moses, but His heart remained hard towards the Isrealites and would not let them leave the land. As I was reading this I was reminded of all the ways the Lord shows me how powerful He is, but yet I don't always choose the path that He or one of His "messengers" may be putting before me.  Why?  Why does my heart remain hard?

Why when the Lord changed the water to blood, brought frogs, gnats, flies, disease, boils, hail, locusts, and darkness did Pharaoh not soften his heart? What would I have done? If those things started happening today, I believe I would have no choice but to bow to the Lord, but Pharaoh believed he was not of the Lord and didn't need to do as He wished. That he was greater than God.  That his status and belongings were more than the Lord to break through.  It took death to the firstborn of all Egyptians for Pharaoh and his people to push the Isrealites out and allow them religious freedom (in a sense). Even today, we as humans can tend to believe we are greater than the Lords powers and grace. Why?  Why are we a world of hardened hearts?

In a world where we teach our children instant gratification, it is no wonder we have grown a sense of entitlement. I recently had a friend in Army Basic Training and as soon as he was able to have a pen and paper, he was so excited to write letters because it was the only communication he was allowed to the outside world. But ask an average 8 year to write a letter and they look at you funny because why physically write a letter when there is email, texting, Facebook, etc. With all these instant forms of communication, buying, even "love" I believe we have developed a sense of entitlement. Having everything at our fingertips has made it difficult to believe that we cannot be "God".  At a young age we learn that money is power. Whoever has the money has the power, has money replaced God in today's society?  We believe that with the right amount of money we can have anything and/or even do anything and the right amount of money can fix the consequences.  How do teach God's grace in this world?  That it is God's grace that gets us through the endless judgement rather than the temporary.  We are in a world where we are always trying to keep up with the Jones, we do not see all we have nor do we appreciate what we have.  How do you teach God's grace?  Are we to a place where we need the plagues that came upon Egypt to come upon us too?

I pray for the knowledge and strength to know my material belongings are not greater than God's grace and that it is by the grace of God I am able to even procure these material items.  Let me truly appreciate the things I have and not focus on the things I don't and know that God is omni-powerful and behave in such a manner!

On Fire but Not Burning

Exodus 1-6

This is the beginning of the story of Moses. While I read it I heard the song "Pharaoh, Pharaoh" playing over and over again in my head. I could even remember the hand signs that went with it. Reading these chapters got me to thinking; what would I do if God showed up to send me somewhere in a burning bush. A bush, mind you, that is only on fire not actually burning. Would I believe it was God speaking to me? I believe He speaks to me daily, but not through a burning bush and not to tell me to lead many people out of a land run by a mean-spirited man. I am afraid I would doubt He was there. Does that mean He wouldn't speak to me in that manner or does that mean He would try to break through my doubt? I wish that I had faith that I would believe He would try to speak to me in such a manner. Why is it so hard for me to believe He could or even would? I believe myself to be generally optimistic, but why am I so pessimistic in regards to something like this?

Still drawing a blank!

What would you do if God showed up in a burning bush?

Lost?

Hello all! I am not really sure how many people actually read this, but I was notified by a dear friend a couple weeks ago that she was concerned I was lost since I hadn't written in such a long time. Physically, no I am not lost, but I have lost my way as far as my attempt to become more balanced. Work has been occupying so much of my time lately that I have not taken the time to take care of ME! I have to get refocused and need to thank my friend for letting me know that I must be lost since there has been a major lack of posts!

I was driving home from Iowa on Sunday and decided to have "church" in my car. So I started listening to Mary Mary. Then I decided to hook my iPhone into the FM Transmitter I bought and deal with having to change stations every 30 miles so I could listen to some of my favorite Christian artists. The first group I listened to was FFH. I love them. So I am driving and jamming when their song "Lord Move, or Move Me" started playing. As soon as I heard the chorus, I knew this song was meant for me at that very moment. I could feel it in my bones and I broke down. Here is the chorus:

"Lord move in a way, that I've never seen before
Cause there's a mountain in the way and a lock on the door
I'm drifting away, waves are crashing on the shore
So Lord move (move), or move me."

As I was reminded, I am drifting and I have been for some time now. I heard this song and it is amazing how clear things seemed to be. Monday I was at the gym. I found the chronological one year Bible on my Bible app on my iPad and I have figured out where I left out and will be putting my life back in order and on track! I am excited again about the change that needs to happen and where it will lead me!

"I once was lost, but am found."

Dear Grandpa

Job 38 - 42

Today I read the above chapters in Job, but I am not really going to speak on that.  I want to take this opportunity to put some of the thoughts and feelings that are going through my head in regards to the happenings of the previous week.

On Monday January 31st, I got a phone call from my mom telling me my grandpa had passed away.  My heart sunk.  Mom explained to me what had happened in the final moments of his life.  I cried while I listened to her and wanted to immediately get in my car and drive to be with her, but couldn't because of the weather.  There was a snow storm going on and it would not have been safe.  I had recently wrote my grandpa a note and I was happy to find out the following day that he had read it!  It made me so happy that I was able to tell him a small portion of how I felt about him and all he had done for me before he had passed on.  I will now take a few moments to write a longer letter for him.

Dear Grandpa~
I love you so much!  I will miss you terribly!  As much as you will be missed by myself and others here on Earth, I know you are residing in your mansion on the streets of gold with the rest of our family who has gone before!  Throughout my childhood you were a man to look up to!  Holidays with the family provided us with guaranteed time together in the basement preparing the meat.  We would always sneak pieces here and there! Talking about such little meaningless things, but all those talks mean so much to me now!  Remembering now the first time you made me put a worm on my own hook in order to fish with you.  I was so disgusted, but so proud when I did it! You regularly got frustrated with how loud I was while we fished, but would always allow me to go. You had a never failing faith in God, a faith I have always tried to attain. It is because of this faith, I am confident of where you are now and all the fun you are having without pain or exhaustion or worry. The Christmas you forgot which popcorn tin you didn't put the $25 in so all 6 grandkids had to search through the popcorn looking for their $25.  To this day, I think this was done on purpose. You got such a kick out of watching us search and search.  The piles of paper in the living room by the chairs.  The popcorn with extra butter!  Poker with match sticks as our poker chips.  Teaching us the rule of "sweating the cards". Telling us stories of your time in the South Pacific.  As a woman, I have taken your expectations and rules of respect into consideration when dating.  If a man will not remove his hat at the dinner table, I am disappointed.  This is one thing you always spoke of in regards to respect for others.  The day I was trying to figure out where I got the blessing of a larger chest from and before Grandma could even answer if she had always had a larger chest before children, you said "Oh yes she did!"  With that the mystery was solved!  The whoopi cushion, the magnetic devices, the "quarter pounder", the big station wagons, the lessons at the acreage, the Freedant gum, the never ending love for Grandma, and your wonderful humor!  Grandpa, you embody so many of the things I want in a man... I can only hope that when I find the man for me, he loves me as wonderfully as you have loved Grandma your "beloved".  You lived such a long and full life and because of this I was able to know you as a child, teen, young lady, and a woman!  I have truly been blessed and now God is blessed to have you with Him!  Although I mourn the ending of your life here on Earth, I am comforted knowing you are part of the party in the sky!  You will always be with us and your legacy will be one to share with those who were not as lucky as those of us who were in your life!  I love you so much Grandpa and am forever indebted to you for all you taught me and gave me!

Love you,
Stephanie

Wooing

 Job 34 - 37

Job 36:16 “He is wooing you from the jaws of distress to a spacious place free from restriction, to the comfort of your table laden with choice food.”

“He is wooing you…” Ladies, how many times have we thought possibly even said we want to be wooed?  I know I say it regularly.  The idea of having a man do things to entice us to want to be with him, around him, fall for him, etc.  A man who wants to take us to dinner.  A man who wants to go for romantic walks.  A man who wants to listen to us when we talk about our day.  A man who will be our rock and just hold us telling us everything will be okay.  I have good news ladies… HE is wooing you!  HE has a table for us to sit at and eat plenty.  HE will walk with us, better yet, HE will carry us on the walk if we are weak that day.  HE romances us in a way no mortal man could.  HE listens to every word that we speak or think.  HE wants so badly to be our rock.  To hold us and tell us everything will be okay because HE knows it will.  I am guilty of loosing site of this.  Forgetting that I should be more worried about Him wooing me than a mortal man wooing me.  Remembering that the two should woo similarly.  That the mortal man should woo me with the same ideals as He does.  The wooing should be parallel, not perpendicular. It is so easy to let society dictate what the wooing should look like and man o man what true lady would want what the majority of society trained men are offering.  Ladies, if you are a God fearing woman, own up to your part of the wooing.  Be a lady of the Lord and wait for the parallel wooing!  I am challenging myself to do just that, please join me!

God at Age 8

Day 23 – Job 29 - Job 32

Job 32:7-9 “I thought, ‘Age should speak; advanced years should teach wisdom.’ But it is the spirit in a person, the breath of the Almighty, that gives them understanding.  It is not only the old who are wise, not only the aged who understand what is right.”

This is an interesting concept.  As we grow up we are told to do believe people because they are older than us and wiser than us.  This verse challenges that school of thought.  I believe this verse is right on when it comes to wisdom of the spirit.  It is not always the elders of a community who feel the spirit within them and have knowledge to share in regards to their experiences or what God has shown them.  In my journey with God many people younger than me (some a few years yet others many years) have shown me God’s heart in many ways which someone older than me would probably never be able to show me.  For example:  my nephew.  For anyone who knows Tristan knows he has just about the biggest heart one could ever have.  He has a lot of changes going on in his life right now and he may not speak to it, but he can feel it.  It is in the small quiet moments that someone would be able to see God through this 8 year old boy.  In the last year while his life has had major changes to it, I have seen him grow into a young man (yes at age 8) and although he may not realize it he has shown God’s love every time I have seen him.  No it has nothing to do with my bias opinion of my nephew either… lol. :) I remember once Tristan could tell I was tense, upset, confused, unsure of what to think and he asked me “Stephanie why aren’t you smiling?”  I told him “Well Tristan, that would take a lot right now.  Got a lot going on, buddy, ya know?” Tristan’s reply was this “Well Stephanie, it is easy to smile.  Just remember I love you more than anyone. Well, except for Jesus.” As he said this he gave me a hug.  I smiled and said “Tristan if I always remember that I will always have a reason to smile! Thank you lil g!”  Then we played crazy 8s.  This little boy, so innocently and without knowing it spoke years of wisdom to me on that afternoon.  Yes many people older than me tell me Jesus loves me, but when you hear it from an 8 year old… wow!  I have seen God so much in Tristan over the last year and I praise God because it means I know He is with Tristan during all the changes going on in his life!  Praise God!  Ever since that afternoon, I have listened to Tristan more intently and other children I talk to as well.  One never knows when God’s words will come to you in the smallest and most precious ways.  I challenge you to pay attention to those younger than you, you never know when God may have something to say to you through them!